Going through a divorce is never a walk in the park under any circumstances. Ending a relationship which you thought would be forever can be an emotionally trying experience. When you throw kids into the equation, fears start to kick in that you’ve not only failed your marriage, but you may have failed parenthood as well.
The critical thing to remember is that you’re not alone in your confusion and range of emotions. People go through divorce every day and make it out just fine with perfectly healthy kids. It’s important to remember the reasons why you’re divorcing which will often help you stay focused rather than going back and forth with regret.
If you have kids and you’ve decided to divorce, here are some of the best tips to make the process easier.
Get a Good Lawyer
Because there’s a lot of potential for long drawn out custody battles with divorces involving children, it’s essential that you have a good lawyer. Not only will you have the peace of mind knowing that you’ve got a professional behind you ensuring that you’re taking the right steps, but you’ll also be more informed about what’s going on.
Taking on a case with a bad lawyer leads to lost money, lost time, and usually a lost case. It’s worth investing your time and resources into someone who you know can get the job done correctly.
Have an Open Conversation With Your Children
A lot of parents want to hide the truth from their children because they think it will hurt them. However, children often benefit from the truth when it’s spelled out to them in an appropriate way.
Being honest with your children about the end of your relationship gives them the opportunity to grow and mature from a challenging situation.
Try To Seek Out a Mediator
If your family is having trouble adjusting to the process of the divorce, it may be in your favor to seek out a mediator. A mediator is different from a lawyer because they are there to listen to everyone’s point of view and calm down emotions which are running high.
It can be especially beneficial for the kids who may be feeling trapped in the middle of a dispute between two parents that they love.
Don’t Bad Mouth The Other Parent
The stress of divorce can bring up a lot of anger and frustration towards the other partner. It can be easy to find yourself bad mouthing them in front of your children not realizing that they’re listening.
Unfortunately, when this happens, it leads to the children feeling like they need to choose between their mother and father which can be extremely emotionally damaging.
Try to think before you speak when your children are present.